Just try......

To break into my house again. Let me start this entry by declaring my undying love for all things JLo. Except maybe perfume, if she has one. She doesn’t really excel at anything, but is really good at a lot of things. She’s not a great actress, but she picks roles that suit her and they make a ton of money. She’s not an excellent singer, but she knows how to choose booty shaking songs.

In any event, the whole point of this entry is a bit of a follow up to the break in post. I’ve heard everything from it’s an isolated event to buy a shotgun, but I’m landing somewhere in the middle. As such, I refer to my personal hero, and the movie Enough for inspiration. It’s a horrible movie, really really bad. Some good eye candy, but other than that, there isn’t anything redeeming qualities about the movie and I’m willing to admit that. The payoff comes at the end. If you can sit through 90 minutes of “mailing it in” acting, the climax scene is an adrenaline boosting few minutes of heaven. If kicking the shit out of your abusive ex husband is your idea of heaven, that is.

By the end of the film, JLo’s character has had enough. He’s never going to leave her alone until he kills her, so she takes matters into her own hands. She meets with a lawyer and he suggests to her the art of Krav Maga. It’s a fighting technique taught to the Israeli army, with one simple idea: the use of force is met with excessive force. To the point of death. It’s really brilliant in the sense that anyone can learn it and use it effectively. ANYONE. Even the giant pansy laying here typing this out.

It’s taught to people of any age, male or female and can be used in any situation because it’s based on stress. They work you out for 45 minutes AND THEN they teach you the techniques to get out of holds. They do this so you’re tired, beaten, out of breath and ready to leave class. And they teach it in a way that’s easy to recall if for some reason you ever have cause to use it. Movement, force, focus. That’s pretty much it.

So, basically, a year from now I’ll be able to kill you. For now, I can break out of a headlock at kick you in the head.