Draft Day!!

So, yet again, I'm the only girl in our fantasy football league. When we picked the order of the draft, my nickname was "It's a mans game". Needless to say, I've been on, and will continue to be on, the receiving end of mass quantities of trash talking.

Some of it I bring on myself, like taking Aaron Rodgers #1 overall because he's hot. He's also a damn fine quarterback. I eventually will need a backup kicker, defense and tight end, but I'm ok with my team. It might be the first time I've ever NOT had a Viking on my team. Our jerk banquet captain took Longwell, our mean GM took our defense, and some clown actually drafted Favre. Has he seen him play this year?! On that ankle?? I hope I'm wrong, but my prediction is that he's only going to play one game.

Also, I'm mad at my counterpart for taking my tight end. No, not a euphemism. I believe my exact words were, "I hate you Jono! You took my tight end!!" Of course I don't realize what I'm saying while saying it....and this was BEFORE we ended up with a bottle of Patron at our table. Note to future self: making rules like "drafting players already drafted results in a shot" and "going over your allotted time results in a shot" always SEEM like a good idea at the time. Turns out, they're generally not.

I took copious amounts of crap from our league during the draft - "who takes Addai in the third round?", "Um, Moe? You need a backup QB!" (not until week 10, jerk!), "sure, Crabtree in the 5th is a great pick....", but overall, I'm ok with my team. It's not great, it's not terrible. There aren't really any super huge sleepers on my team (I'm holding out hope they're REALLY sleepy), but I like it. If I can just pick the right weeks when Hines Ward scores, and Felix Jones gets stuffed, I'll be just fine.

Honestly, the only reason I have ever done fantasy football is because it makes me care about all 16 games every week (except the bye weeks). If I didn't have fantasy football, I wouldn't have given a second thought to football today, since the Vikings played on Thursday. Also, I really enjoy beating the guys that think they know everything about football and this chick knows nothing. There are a certain few people in life I've come across that I really relish beating at this "sport". In fact, I play the first one this week - my GM. So, here's to The Suckiest Suck Team That Ever Sucked....from Suckville. AKA, the Flaming Moe's.

(It should be noted that I've started off the year with a win. Over a most magnificent opponent - our smack talking GM, who gave me the following nickname for when we determined our draft order: It's a Mans Game. Ah, victory. It really is sweet.)

I know you’re all dying to know…

What happened to the knee. Let’s start with a PSA: Tequila is fine. Mechanical Bulls are fine. Tequila + Mechanical Bull + Old Skiing Injury = Recipe for Disaster.

I learned at the ripe age of 18 that trying to impress people was silly. Well, let’s modify that. It’s not silly. It’s silly to try and impress someone when you know nothing about them. I speak from experience here. I was skiing after class one afternoon, and noticed a rather cute boy on the slopes with me. After several times down the hill, we ended up on the chair lift together. Conversation was had, badgering me to go of the jumps took place and eventually, wanting to impress cute boy, I acquiesced. The first two times down the hill went rather breezily. The third times the charm, right? Only the wrong charm. Fast forward to me falling rather ungracefully, and ending up in the hospital with him.

Only to find out he had a girlfriend.

Fast forward to the present, and we’re sitting here, knee ace-wrapped and covered in ice. I’ve been popping Advil like it’s going out of style. I’ve been through this before, many times, either due to my wicked dance moves or Whiskey Tree with ‘The Fetus’ (NOT my name for him). And usually all is well in a couple of days.

I’ve been on a mechanical bull once or twice in my life, so when it was suggested, I was up for it. I mainly wanted to see my friend on it, and the only way she was going was if I went first. Apparently it didn’t matter that she’d already done it earlier in the week. So, after barhopping around Royal Street and dinner at Felipe’s, we met up with some friends at the Cat’s Meow. We’re all having one of the best nights of our life and finally decide to have our way with the bull. After a pit stop at a tequila bar, we sauntered into our destination. I wasn’t intimidated in the slightest.

We got signed up, grabbed a drink and got in line. I was trying not to watch the other girls on the bull, mainly because I didn’t want any of them to intimidate me. I think I’m pretty kick ass, but I know there are MUCH hotter chicks on the planet and since I’m not one of them, they intimidate me. Anyhow, we’re chatting, laughing, trying to figure out where to go after this, because really, how can you top a mechanical bull on Bourbon Street?!

(Un)lucky for us, we didn’t have to figure that out. I was on the bull so long, I eventually got bored with it. So I asked the guy to flip me off. The whole time, telling myself to fall off to the left. To the LEFT!! Why would that happen? That would be too easy! Well, I went off to the right, and the moonwalk-ness of the padding didn’t make for a solid landing. And my knee buckled. I had to haul myself off the mat with a basically useless right leg and somehow stand up without anyone being the wiser. I don’t think anyone was, which gives me some satisfaction (ah, the retention of even a little bit of dignity makes all the difference).

My gimpiness pretty much sealed the fate of the evening unfortunately. We were having such a good time! I stayed off it as much as I could over the weekend, thinking that it would be better in the morning, just like it always has been. Monday morning rolled around, and it felt almost worse. Off to the urgent care facility for me. Nothing is broken, thankfully, but there is something floating around in there, and some sort of arthritis is developing. Christ, I’m 29, not 79! How the eff can I have ‘some sort of arthritis’?! Anyhow, an appointment has been made with an orthopedist, and an MRI will hopefully be taken. I’ve known for a long time that surgery was in my future….I was just hoping it would be after the age of 30 and not before.

Send good thoughts to my knee. And for the love of god, don’t mix bad knees, tequila and mechanical bulls. All are fine separately, but the three together are just asking for trouble.