Summer is upon us....

My how time flies....I did figure out how to post from my phone, and then I got busy with life again.  If it's not kickball games, it's kickball related activities with kickball people.

To recap:
Spending Mother's Day with my mom
Bar Olympics
Flip Cup Tournament (in Atlanta, departing NOLA at 1AM Friday night/Saturday morning
My thirsty thirty-first birthday
Keg Parties (one for our Wednesday charity winners and one for the aforementioned Bar Olympics we won)
Scavenger Hunting in the French Quarter
Telling the ex-booty call off
Charity Potluck fundraiser
Popping my Tubing cherry
Memorial Day Bar Crawl
First sailing trip of the year
The first two seasons of Nip/Tuck
Cooking again, FINALLY!!!!
My first NOLA Wedding (one I planned, not attended)
Telling my father about the next one on Father's Day
and.....my personal favorite....

QUITTING SMOKING!!!!!!

That's right folks....I've been smoke free for 8 days - 7 of which I've had to work.  I'm so proud of myself for doing this, and super happy that I have four amazing friends who all wanted to quit at the same time.  And even more happy we have 5 friends supporting us as "sponsors" by sending us motivational texts, e-mails and creating care packages for us.  I've been tempted almost every day, but I'm staying strong and I'm going to win.  Oh yeah, there's a financial incentive to quit as well.  We all know what motivates me, so this situation is literally perfect.  All the trash talking about how I'll be the first to "lose" makes me want to win.  Also, I've not spent like $40 on cigarettes already, so there's that.

Why can't.....

We have it all? I've been a bit of a debbie downer lately, with associated personal and career issues as of late, so I've been internalizing and compartmentalizing, and now I'm ready to focus on something else. This is going to be a bit of a depressing post, so fair warning on that. But hopefully, by me getting it off my chest, I'll feel better about it and more positive. Everything that I'm posting today is going to be discussed with an objective outsider on Wednesday, and I'm really hoping that will help.

It's no secret that my current work environment isn't ideal....don't get me wrong, I love my job and I love the physical building I work in. My boss pretends I don't exist most days, and all I get are corporate mumbo jumbo e-mails from her maybe every other day. I've been looking for jobs for most of this year, and finally had a couple of interviews I was very excited about. I really have no desire to move out of this city just yet, but I can't keep complaining about the same things without doing anything to fix them. So, since I've tried talking with my boss, HR, the GM to try and get the situation resolved, the only other options are A: Out of the department, B: Out of the hotel, C: Out of the company, or D: Out of the city. After much thought over these options, I decided the best one was to be out of the city. Well, there was a job in the department at a different hotel here, but I didn't get that. Nor did I get the other two that I just applied for. Which has certainly not helped this feeling of utter rejection in pretty much every aspect of my life.

Now, due to the rejection of my previous living arrangement, I've signed another year lease here in the Crescent City. Not that I'm not excited about it, but now, not only do I feel rejection, I feel trapped. I'm in a neighborhood I like, with a roommate I'm pretty good friends with (but not too good), and I no longer have the stress of having a week and a half to find a place to keep me from being homeless. Now I know the only person I have to blame for that is myself, but it still sucks to actually get to that point. Especially when some of the circumstances that led to that point weren't completely within your control, and perhaps a little understanding and reassurance would have helped instead of avoidance and being a jerk. But I digress. We'll have our electricity turned on tomorrow, so I won't be sleeping by myself, in a house with no lights after today. I may actually even unpack this time.

In any event, despite all of the crappy things that were happening to me (work, life, family, etc.), I found some sort of solitude and even dare I say happiness making out with a boy that I've been friends with for a while. Two months of laughter, cuddling, bar hopping, football watching, cartoon introduction and some other things, have now (hopefully not permanently) been taken away from me. And I'm really not sure why. The pause timetable is about a month, but after a month of being "just friends" after not being "just friends", I'm uncertain I'll want to go back. Which is why time is of the essence here. I'm trying not to freak out and be all girly (failed over the weekend, pretty miserably, actually), but I really don't know what I did or didn't do that was wrong. There was never any pressure for a relationship, or titles or any of that other crap that society forces on two people. So long as we weren't doing anything with others that we were doing with each other (naked, obviously), and we were still having fun hanging out too, what was the problem? This is what I don't understand about men: I was offering everything that most men would kill for: no strings per se, time to do your own thing, as much usage of the "benefits" as you'd like, no titles, just a promise to communicate. If you want out, just tell me. I guess that's the answer.....He did. I just want to understand why. Apparently there's a fear of hurting me, because he "at least" wants to be friends. But, he's already hurt me. So why can't we just forget the last week, and go back to the last two months and have it all? Ugh....stupid me.....always overthinking everything.

The last thing that's been eating at me has been family related. Not that I saw my siblings and nephews a ton when I lived at home, living 1300 miles away has taken a toll on me that I never expected. When I hear that I'm R's favorite aunt, having not have seen him more than twice in the last year, I realize all that I'm missing out on because I was too selfish to just stick it out in Minneapolis for a while. Am I happier than when I left? No. Am I any sadder than when I left? No. It's just different and it sucks to not be able to hang out with my sister because I'm having a bad day. Compounding this frustration and sadness, is the issue with my mother, which I won't get into to far. I haven't spoken with her since July. This was my choice and the last possible resort to deal with a situation that's been festering pretty much since I can remember. This particular person has been given a pass for far too long simply because she gave birth to me. Anyone else would have been out of my life long, long ago. This is the most I've discussed with anyone, and so I shall leave it for another day. I can't say it's been eating at me, because I really haven't dealt with it at all since July, but I know it's there, and I know it needs to be fixed. Of all the relationships in my life that are in various stages of disarray, I know I need some resolution with this one. At the end of the day, family is more important than anything, and as much as I'm hurting about a boy, a job, finances and other things, this one is far and away the worst.

I'm going to really put more effort into this, now that I'll have a home environment that doesn't make me want to leave the house every moment that I'm awake. I've got some saved that I have to re-read, so that should keep me going for a couple weeks. There are some super fun events that I want to fill in, but I'll get to those as I can. I know I'm not alone in the thoughts above....whether you're there now, or will be or have been. I need to stop with the self loathing and melting down (though N says I've only done that a handful of times in the 12 years I've known her), and just be grateful for the things and people I do have. My dad coming next month, my siblings, their families, my friends, two months of bliss here and there, my health (though that's been questionable as of late), a job that I love, a beer named after me and new sunglasses. Now I can get back to pretending I'm Corey Hart. Maybe that's what's been missing.

Reflecting.....

Here I sit, three weeks before I fly home to celebrate(??) my entrance to my 30's. I've been thinking a lot, about where my life has taken me, about my current situation, and about what the future might hold for me. I should be excited about all the opportunities life has sent my way, and I should be thrilled to celebrate all these things with my family and closest friends. And instead? I'm just kind of indifferent. Maybe that's too harsh of a word. Ambivalent? I don't know. I'm at a point that I just don't know.

I think about my sister, getting married to her best friend. I think about my brother, with his two beautiful children and gorgeous fiancée. I think about my other brother, doing exactly what he's wanted to do his entire life, and with his beautiful girlfriend. And then I think about me. Married to my job. Single. Childless. Me. Sitting here, in a city with no family, no one that I trust implicitly, and at a job that I adore, working for someone I pretend doesn't exist. Seems empty, just like it always has.

Before you feel bad for me, don't. I'm going to Mexico in a month and a half, an opportunity only afforded to me because I don't have all these...attachments....I pay rent, but my landlord doesn't mind if my rent is a day or three late. I don't have kids I have to arrange for. I have a job that allows me to take the time off when I want to, because they know I NEED to. I've been afforded a ton of AMAZING opportunities in life that I wouldn't trade in for anything. But the thought of turning thirty and not being exactly where I want to be, not completely, well, it makes me think.

My 5 year plan five years ago, was to be turning 30 and living in the Big Apple. Instead of the Big Apple, I'm living in the Big Easy. I didn't have grand plans to be a department head or director at the age of 30, but I wanted to be making more money than I am now. I have an opportunity to accomplish that, but I'm not sure exactly how I feel about it. More to come on that in the coming weeks. I didn't plan to be married, or settled down, or anything domestic, but I didn't plan to be single. I know that for that to happen, I have to adjust the way that I live my life, and I'm just not quite ready to do that. If I was, I'd be a department head at work. I absolutely adore my life the way it is - I do what I want to do, when I want to do it, and I can't fathom life without that freedom.

I certainly didn't plan to be living where I am, but I'm doing what I can to make the most of it. I enjoy my kickball teams, and the people that play/watch/drink with us. I've found some really great restaurants and some killer bars, though I'm still trying to find egg rolls as good as Que Viet, and Thai food as good as Tum Rup. There's a pretty amazing music scene here and my friends come to visit me in droves. I like it here. The humidity can suck it, but overall I'm content with the decision to move here.

Given the amount of fun that I'm having, and the things that I'm learning about myself both personally and professionally, and what I want to accomplish here, it's baffling me the thoughts that I'm having of moving back home. I know how much I hate winter, but do I hate winter as much as I love and miss my family slash friends? There's a job open that would challenge me on several levels, but there are many reasons I wouldn't want it. Maybe in another 5 years, when they figure out what to do about winter, I'll move home.

So, for now, I will continue to balance the social with the professional, and try to not dwell on the feeling of emptiness that I have, because I know that I'm the only person that can change it, and for right now, I'm not willing to do that. When I am, I'll know. I think. Or maybe I won't, and it'll just hit me in the face and I'll just have to accept it. I've lived a life of no regrets and I'm not about to start now. And who knows? Maybe this will become my home. A place I never expected, never planned for....just was. Wouldn't that be something?

My first Mardi Gras....

Well, it's started. I attended my first official Mardi Gras parade on Saturday. I would have been at the first one of the season the previous Saturday, but parking is a bitch in the quarter. The parade itself was somewhat meh. Don't get me wrong, it was better than 95% of the parades I've seen in my life, but for this extravagant event, it seemed kind of, almost, half assed. I've been assured by my local friends that it was one of the smaller ones, and they only get better. Here's hoping.

The one I think I'm most looking forward to is the Krewe of Muses on Thursday night. It's the only all female Mardi Gras parade, and their throws include intricately decorated shoes. I'm keeping my fingers crossed I'll catch one, preferably with my hands, and not my face.

My friends start to arrive on Saturday (send good thoughts to my bestie, apparently she was in the hospital last night, trooper that she is), and the craziness will be in full swing. I'm excited about the parade that goes through my neighborhood; I hear it's pretty incredible. I'm hoping my liver and almost 30 year old body hold out...I've been noticing signs of "lack of party ability" lately, and trying to live by the "you're only as old as you feel" mantra. Short skirts and tight tops are helping, but we'll see what shakes out this weekend.

I'm not sure if I'm more excited about Mardi Gras, or if I'm more excited to show my best friend all the things I love about this city. I can't wait to take her to Parkway, and Sucre, and walk around City Park, and show her where we play kickball, and get a photo op in the Sinkhole...but I can't help but feel like there's something overshadowing it and I won't be able to share everything I want to. And I worry about the next time she'll come back. It's an awesome city, so I hope that she does, and not for something like this, or Jazzfest, just some random Wednesday perhaps, and we can play trivia at Half Moon, or I can give her the experience of a Random Bar Night. It'll be fun for sure....just different I suppose.

Just so you know....

I have been writing. And keeping up with my promise of updates once a week. It's just that the last couple of them? Well, they haven't been so good. I don't want to scare you off, so I'm keeping them to myself for a bit. Tweaking them every couple of days and letting myself heal and eventually they'll be up. I'm trying to heal myself emotionally and I think I'm close. Now if I could just kick this nasty cold and then I'll be healed emotionally and physically. Well, as close as I can be.

Sometimes the wheels have to come off so you can be put back together whole again. Maybe not even completely off, maybe it's just simply a day/night of letting completely go. And going completely balls to the wall. And ass shaking. Always with the ass shaking. Sometimes it's a rejection that makes you wonder what the hell you were doing in the first place. But it's always something little that makes that lightbulb go off above your head and think, "A ha! That's it! The eff was I thinking?!?". And then it's back to being good.

For all the morose words I've put into this computer the last couple of weeks, I really am feeling better. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel both personally and professionally, and for the first time all year, I KNOW it's not a train. It's a hopeful light. One that's making me smile, right here, right now. An unforced, completely real smile. I've missed that. It's nice to have it back.

Only two weeks remain between today and Mardi Gras. Less than that until my best friend in the entire world comes to visit me. Words can't even begin to describe how excited I am, and I wouldn't want to try because I don't feel they'd do my thoughts justice. It's going to be one hell of a week and I can't hardly wait. Because I'll finally have reached the end of the tunnel, and then my whole world opens up again. And it's going to be amazing.

End of the month...

Wow. I need to dedicate more time to this. Just figured out my NY resolution. Once a week, whether it needs it or not, this blog is getting updated. Unlike my 12 resolutions of 2010 (all of which I failed at, I think), I'm going to stick with one and do it. Pick one thing, and it gets done, excellently. 2-3 things and maybe 2 get done, marginally. Any more than that, and it's setting yourself up to fail. And I hate that. Failing. Almost as much as being helpless.

So, let's start the new year off. Almost a month late, but whatever. My first thoughts on new years day this year included, "how did I get home?", "how did I get to wherever I am (which clearly is not home)?", and "where are my pants?". To answer them, I didn't get home until later in the day, for I was dogsitting my dear friends dear friend. I believe a couple of saints delivered me to the couch, though I don't really have any recollection of the ride home. Other than talking a lot. I think. Pants were safely recovered....for some reason, I thought under my pillow was a good place for them. And to answer the question I know you're all asking, I woke up alone, save for my friends pup.

It was a good new years, as good as one can be. There was flip cup and friends and Patron Cafe and gummi bears and keg stands and hats (not just party hats, fedoras!), and champagne and dancing and most importantly of all, no frakking snow! The only way it could have been better would have been to have my friends from MN here. After getting through Christmas sans friends and family (but with a cute Brit), I was a bit blue about starting the new year off with people I've known less than half a year. I'm keeping a positive attitude about this move, but there are some days when I sit back and think, "I wish I could click my heels three times, and be back in the 612.". Maybe my friends and family will wise up and move south.

The Monday following, kickball started again, and all seemed to be right with the world. I joined another drinking team with a kickball problem, full of cute boys and fun girls, not the catty kind that I want to punch. We all get along pretty well, but aren't that great at kickball. Flipcup, however, we are undefeated. I feel as though I may have unintentionally created some drama, not because I wanted to, but because I made a decision last year without really thinking or understanding the situation. Obviously alcohol was involved, and I likely would have made the same decision, but only because I wasn't aware of the other entity present. I rarely make decisions to consciously hurt someone, and while that decision wasn't the one that could have hurt, it was the decision to make it known. I probably could have kept my mouth shut, but anyone that knows me knows that's rarely an option either...hence my kickball nickname, "Record Skip".

We've played three games, two losses and one tie. This week got rained out again so makeup games are on Saturday. Unfortunately half of our team won't be there, so hopefully we'll be competitive. I also signed up to edit our newsletter. It's a lot of work, but there was free tequila involved. Plus, it's nice to be a part of something new. And also, I'm super nerdy, so this is right up my alley.

My counterpart at work is leaving at the end of this week, off to brighter pastures across the city. He'll be doing the same thing at a bigger hotel and while I'm extremely happy for him, I'm sad. I'm really going to miss him, though I'd never admit it to his face. We're like siblings and I'm going to miss the camaraderie and the venting and him making me cry at the bar all the time. He makes me think and asks the tough questions and while I don't always agree with his process or opinion, I love and respect him. And I really, truly hope he's happy in his new role.

Along with him leaving, comes twice as much for me until we get a replacement. We are also down an admin assistant so I've been super crazy at work the last couple of weeks. I had a big group in this week and an even bigger one next week, and I know I'm not at the top of my game. I can only be in so many places. I'm not responding to e-mails as quickly, and I think I'm missing the spark in my eye. That twinkle that is there when I'm really happy with something. I should be happy with my work, my clients sure are. For last year, my overall customer satisfaction was over 90%. I'm striving for perfection this year, and knowing my responsiveness is slower than normal is really hitting me hard. Harder than it should. Because I want so desperately to be 100%. Because if I am, I'll feel validated. That this move was the right thing to do. That this job is my passion. That I can overcome. And I'm worried that it's starting out all wrong.

I'll leave with a thought, one that I discovered this morning on something so insignificant as a luggage tag. "We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment." -Hilare Belloc It's true. It hit me like a sock full of oranges. I'm at my happiest when I'm traveling. The only trip I took last year that wasn't home was to Arizona for 48 hours. I'm sad that I'm not going to Mexico next month with the greatest people I know, save for my parents. I'm sad that the only trips I have planned for this year are back home. I'm scared that I won't make it to Europe or the Caribbean or somewhere else fabulous. It makes me want to cry that I didn't go to New York last year. Because all of those places fulfill a simple need in me to be completely anonymous. To be able to walk around all day and night and not know a soul until we're sitting across the bar, or exhibit hall of a museum and one of us catches the others eye and says "Hello.".

It may not be this year, but next year, I will definitely have those moments again. Because I'm tired of wandering.

Thanksgiving

I meant to to this yesterday, but slept all day instead. It was the most relaxing, stressless Thanksgiving I've ever had. For all the whining I did about being an orphan, it was kind of nice actually. In between naps, I really had an opportunity to reflect on the last year, the last six months, and figure out what exactly it is I'm thankful for.

I must say, that after coming home from my best friends birthday party, and being around all the people I love so much, the week and a half leading up to yesterday was a bit of a challenge for me. For all the years I whined about going to St. Cloud, or St. Paul or wherever, the thought of not being around my family was a rather large pill to swallow. Coupling that with the notion that I'm officially less than 6 months away from being 30....well, it felt a lot like a midlife crisis to me. Thankfully, there isn't a new corvette in my driveway.

So, on to the things I'm grateful for. I'm thankful I live in a city where there isn't snow on the ground. Matter of fact, it's raining right now. I could be complaining about how cold 60 degrees is, but it could be worse. At least I have warm clothes and a roof over my head. So, I'm thankful for that; having a job that I adore (even if I don't always adore the people I work with), that provides a comfortable place to put my head and food in my belly.

I'm thankful for my wonderful family, even though I take y'all for granted sometimes. You mean the absolute world to me and I'm so lucky to have some of the best family a girl could ask for. I love that you constantly surprise me, I love the way you make me laugh, the way you make me cry (yes, sister, you and your wedding dress are going to make me cry), the way I can come to you with a question or a problem and you'll give me exactly the answer I need, not the one that I want. I appreciate you more than words can describe. I love you.

My friends. Some of you belong in the previous paragraph, (you know who you are). I have the most amazing friends ever. Some of you I've known forever, some only a short time, but the amount of fun I have with y'all is really pretty incredible. We've done some stupid things, some crazy things, some wildly awesome things, and at the end of the day, it really doesn't matter what it is we've done, because we've done it together. I love you more than life itself, because you make life worth living.

One last group of people, then a giant list of stuff I'm thankful for. It may sound odd, but I'm grateful for all the people in life that have wronged me, lied to me, cheated on me, made me question my faith in people. These are the people that teach me how to be a better person, to not take people for granted, to return a phone call even if you don't want to, to ask for what it is you want and tell what it is you don't. I've learned so much from these people about what I want and don't want in life, and while it's caused a fair amount of pain to me, I'm grateful for it. I can't thank you enough for showing me how not to live life.

And my list of stuff I'm thankful for: this pretty MacBook that I'm typing this on, iPhone, my fancy schmancy shoes, watermelon in November, red velvet cake, RSVP pens, satin sheets, the smell of bacon (and taste, really), a general lack of artistic talent, short skirts and high heels, the color purple (not the movie, the actual color), the five senses, Surly Beer, compliments, the egg rolls at Que Viet, naps, the inventor of the vibrator, kickball, gyros, humor, the Dewey Decimal system, loud music, Anchorman, tomfoolery and shenanigans, quality literature, football (even if my home team sucks), photographic evidence, passports and impulsive behavior, champagne cocktails, Jeopardy, Special K, mini-golf and go-karts, In 'n Out Burger, Random Bar Night, kittens, fantasy football, online shopping, The Simpsons, po' boys.

WTF??

Ever have those moments, where you just sit back and reflect, and go "What the F was I thinking?"? I've certainly had my fair share of them, probably other people's fair share as well.

I've had quite a few of them in the past weeks and months. WTF was I thinking moving here? WTF was I thinking entertaining the thought that people are actually trustworthy and good? WTF was I thinking helping out someone so ungrateful? WTF is with the humidity here? WTF was I thinking leaving the comfort of my life in MN?

I'm so torn, it's ridiculous. I loved and hated the comfort there. I like being uncomfortable. It's excites me and thrills me and challenges me to be better. To attain what I want. To experience something new.

At the same time, I love the comfort. Of being able to call my best friend on a moment's notice to check out a photo exhibit. Of having my mom so close I can call and have lunch with her. To be able to go out with my best guy friends and laugh and play pool and throw darts and be one of the guys.

It's only been six months. I know it'll get better and I'll have fewer WTF moments. And I know that three years from now, when I'm ready to make the big leap to the Big Apple, I'll be ready for it, and I won't have those WTF moments. Or at least, not as many. I'm stuck in the present right now, and I need to move forward. I need to be in the future....see it and it will happen. And then all these WTF moments will seem so trivial, but not. It'll be worth it because they taught me to see bigger and dream bigger and be bigger. I'm more than this and I'll get there.

I am so ready for some football!!!!!

OMG! Football season is finally here!!!! And, guess what? My first game of the season was the FIRST game of the season!! Let's start at the beginning, shall we? I started looking for jobs towards the end of 2009. I had found a couple that I wanted, but wasn't super serious about finding a new job. I mean, I had a great Monday through Friday gig that paid me well and I had the most amazing boss I think I've ever had in my life. Who'd want to give that up?!

So I moved the job hunt to the back burner and got through the holiday season. I kind of kept looking, here and there when I had a free minute at work. I found a dream job, but when I went back to post for it, it was gone. After the first of the year, I was going through some personal crap and just said eff it. The winter sucked the life out of me and I decided that when I got back from Mexico, the first thing I was going to do was re-dedicate myself to finding something, anything that wasn't in the state of MN. At this point I didn't care if it was Cambodia or Columbus. I just needed to leave. And then this job almost jumped out of the website at me. New Orleans? Could I live there? Could I deal with the humidity and the crime and the (gasp) hurricanes? In typical me fashion, I walked into my boss' office and asked if she cared if I posted for it. She said no, so I did.

Obviously I got the job, or I wouldn't be here. Somewhere during the interview process, the NFL released it's 2010 schedule. Lo and behold, the first game of the season is at the Superdome. On a Thursday. Against the Vikings. In the process of the job hunt, I wasn't super sold on NoLA, but once I saw this, I figured there was something else going on and I had to go. I wanted to be at this game. I needed to be at this game. So, job taken, and the hunt for tickets was on.

Fast forward to last week. I've said it before and I'll say it again, it's not what you know, it's who you know. I'd been badgering my friend all summer to come down for the game, and wouldn't you know it, my friend Chris was the lucky guest of honor along with a couple of his friends. They all happen to have a friend that works for the Vikings. A friend that hooked us up with tickets to the game, gratis. And somehow finagled on field passes for the pre-game!! Are you effing kidding me? I'm seriously one of the luckiest girls on the planet.

They all arrived Wednesday, we went out to dinner and hit Bourbon Street (of course!). Had an awesome time as always with them; it's easy because they're awesome. Thursday was the big day. I met up with them at their hotel and pre-gamed for a bit, then hopped in a cab to the Superdome. I'm not gonna lie, it's pretty impressive. I've driven by it countless times, but when you're standing on the street next to it, wow. We found our way in and found our way to the field. I had goosebumps and a smile the size of Texas when we walked out on that field.

There really isn't any way to describe the feeling of walking out on an NFL field before the game. In the industry I'm in, I've been around my fair share of famous people, including countless athletes, and I'm generally not one to get star struck. But seriously, this was different. There was the Thursday night game crew that included Tony Dungy, Brett Favre was on the field, Roger Goddell, Chris Paul. I was in heaven. I even got to catch an NFL football pass from Chris. I really can't describe it. It was one of those amazing once in a lifetime things.

About a half hour before kickoff, they booted us from the sidelines and up to our seats we went. All the way up. Literally. Last row in the upper level. We were on about the 45 yard line, so they weren't too bad, and there was a restroom literally right behind our seats (awesome). The crowd was super fun and didn't give us too much crap about being Vikings fans. There were a couple guys from MN near us, so I shared a Surly with them (duh! of course I snuck one in!). All in all, it was a great night with seriously kick ass people. Thanks to Ryan for the tickets and to Chris, Ryan and Andy for coming down and letting me be a part of the fun. You guys rock and hopefully we'll have drinks when I'm back in the 612 in November.

Recap...

The last week has been somewhat of a blur....all starting with Thursday night.

Thursday was our last regular season kickball team. I caught wind of this team from one of my Krav instructors, he said the team was pretty cool, it was on Thursday nights, there's lots of flip cup, so I looked into it! Unfortunately, the minute I signed up for it, I jacked my knee and missed the first four games. In the last four games, I was 3-4 at the plate, made one catch, assisted on another, and FINALLY scored in our last game. Well, we have playoffs next weekend, but the regular season is over.

It's surprising how sad I am about it. Yesterday just didn't feel the same without the carolina blue shirt and tutu. Granted, we had our fantasy draft yesterday and I wouldn't have been able to play anyway, but I missed it. I missed the camaraderie and the adrenaline. I digress....after our last game we had our flip cup playoffs. I never actually participated in the competitive flipping, just a cheerleader, so I can't take credit for the three-peat. Yes, our team is the three time flip cup champs. You can see how this would turn into a long night.

Friday I watched the Saints game with a colleague and her brother, had a few margaritas, checked out the 5th Child CD release at the Banks Street Bar and went to bed early. Saturday was the Monday night kickball playoffs. I had planned on stopping by and watching a few of the games and my friend Karen was in town, and she was cool with checking it out. Sadly, it was a super rainy day, and I wasn't dressed to give the slip 'n slide a go. We managed to watch one game, and then went to Felipe's for lunch.

We both had different events to go to - her a fundraiser for the Make it Right foundation, and me, an Abita beer sponsored grub crawl. It was a bit disorganized, but the food was good, and the beers were paired perfectly. We reconnected at Howl at the Moon later and I eventually had to call it a night. We met up for lunch on Sunday and I gave her a ride to the airport. It's so wonderful having good friends come visit me; in the last few days, I've had two more friends confirm visits here. Please keep coming, it's an amazing city that has so much to offer. Plus, tourism is our main industry here, and being that I'm in it, I'd like to be able to keep working. :)

Sunday, Monday and Tuesday, I didn't really do much of anything. Wednesday I went out with the guys from the Krav studio - it's so interesting to see people out of the normal environment that you see them. These are the guys that yell and scream and push me harder than anyone ever has before, and yet seeing them out and about, they're big teddy bears that wrestle each other, listen to live music, scarf pizza at 2am. People absolutely fascinate me, watching how we interact with one another, the life choices we all make....funny the way it is.

FINALLY!!!!!!

After a month and a half away, I finally it back to the gym tonight!! If you're wondering, you can read about what happened here.

Today was honestly the best day that I could have gone back. My goal was yesterday, but I wasn't in the right mindset. Today, I kicked ass at work, accomplished more than I possibly thought I could, and had a vision in my head of who was going to be on that punching pad tonight. It completely exhausted me, which hopefully translates into a full night of sleep for me. Truly couldn't have been in a more perfect frame of mind for it.

I was so, so, so freaking nervous....it was almost worse than when I moved halfway across the country. I was more nervous than when I went to my first class. Why? Because after a month of pretty much wanting to die every class I went to (multiple times, even), I was finally making progress. I could do 25 pushups without stopping, even the ridiculous triangle ones (tonight I managed 15). I still haven't quite gotten the hang of bear crawls - though they were always the hardest for me....stupid long limbs...

I think I only wanted to die, really honestly give up, once. I know full well I'm going to feel like a 90 year old lady by Thursday, but I'm proud of what I accomplished tonight. I only have three skinned knuckles, but they're all the right ones - note to future self, bring your wraps with you next time. I'm shooting for the Saturday class as my next one, as I don't think I'll be ready for Thursday. I know it'll take time to get back to where I feel comfortable, but I'm really excited about tonight.

The great thing about Krav is that literally anyone can do it. I was a little intimidated by the kid in our class tonight, dude had more energy in his arm than I have in my whole body!! But seriously, anyone, any age, any body type, anyone willing to put in the effort (and it's a LOT), can learn this. Truly.

So, a year from now (barring further injury - yes, I learned my lesson about mechanical bulls!), I should be able to kill you with my bare hands. Not that I'd want to, of course, but I could. So don't mess with me.

Miss M Recommends

Rare Cuts and the St. James Cheese Company.

It's grilling day at my counterpart's house, so I volunteered to bring the meat. Now if only I could find a piece for myself...le sigh. Anyhow, I discovered Rare Cuts through the wonder of the internet. It's a local company here in New Orleans that sells restaurant quality meats - that you can cook yourself. There are certainly nights when I would kill for a Murray's filet, but want to do it myself to save on the cost. Finding a reputable meat shop can be quite the challenge. Grocery stores can be very hit or miss, so I've taken care of the dirty work for you.

I purchased a couple of mini filets and a pork tenderloin. They have everything from racks of lamb to veal chops to Waygu sliders (which sadly they were out of - boourns on that noise). They brought out samples of the filet and I thought I was going to foodgasm right there in the middle of the store - how embarrassing! Oh! And a MAJOR bonus - Saturdays they have free bloody mary's. FREE!!! I chatted with the gentleman for a bit (who's name I sadly didn't catch - he was super cute) about how their memberships work, how they started and their private dining room. So, I know where I'm having my birthday dinner next year if I'm in town.

In addition to finding a quality butcher shop, a quality cheese shop is also integral to my survival. The St. James Cheese Company is beyond quality. It's incredible. There was a line out the door the entire time that I was there. I bought their cheese board to go (please label them next time guys, I'm not a mind reader!), which came with delicious pecans, fresh grapes, and apricot jelly. We decided that the orange blue cheese was the best. I savored half of the Brie de Meaux sandwich, triple cream brie and ham - a delight...and the name was not completely lost on me. The bread was perfect - soft and crusty and the salad that came with it was to die for (the dijon vinaigrette is one of the best I've ever had).

There is a little patio nestled into the building, and seating inside as well. Every seat was taken and I was in the store for probably 20 minutes. It's a popular joint, with good reason, so if you can handle the wait, and the lack of labels, you'll be just fine. Since I took everything to go, I have to assume they explain what you're eating when they bring it to the table. In any event, their selection is incredible, the service is friendly, though a bit rushed; understandable given how consistently busy they are. The prices seemed reasonable to me, a bit higher than expected but the quality certainly overcompensated. I say yes to the St. James Cheese Company.

What I really like about both of these places is that they know what they're doing. They know meat, and they know cheese. And they do it exceptionally. So many times a restaurant or hotel or store will have so much going on that they consistently fail on executing the basics. Pick something you're good at, do it exceptionally, and you too will have a line out your door all day long. Now, off to find some wine to go with this cheese....

Next on my list to review...Theo's Pizza and the Creole Creamery (which I FINALLY found!!!).

Saturday, part deux....

At some point during the aforementioned Red Dress Run, I (or a caring kickball teammate) decided that I'd had enough to drink. It's happened before, and I'm sure it'll happen again. It's just the way life is. Given that I was in no shape to drive, another caring kickballer was kind enough to give me a ride home, even though it was completely the opposite direction. Mad props to Paul - have a great trip up to the midwest.

After several minutes, or what seemed like it, I was able to get my front door open, my AC turned on, my feet washed (they were covered in "French Quarter Goo" as one of my co-workers so eloquently put it), and crumpled into a heap on my bed. I had arranged with another co-worker for her to pick me up and get me back to my car at some point.

She picked me up around 8, and we went down to Cajun Mike's, our local hotel bar. My friend Cory was going out in the quarter with a couple of his friends, celebrating (though that may not be the right word) a divorce. Or as my friend put it, a reverse bachelor party. I knew what they were trying to get into over the course of the evening, and I wasn't intending to get drunk twice in one day, but these things happen. There was a trip to Coyote Ugly (which was incredibly lame and I need a new black strapless bra), Ryan's Pub, Pat O'Brians, more daiquiris, more dancing, and more laughing.

After a trip to Bourbon Cowboy, with the intention of riding the mechanical bull (which I KNOW is a bad idea), we all decided to head back to the hotel. I swiped a blanket and pillow from one of the beds, and curled up on the floor. What?! It was either that or the bathtub, and I didn't necessarily want to be woken up to any unpleasantness in the morning. After the boys got some wrestling out of their systems, they headed back out. I think one of them wanted to go to a strip club....I'm not really sure....a bit fuzzy by this point.

All in all, it was a super Saturday, one which will not easily be topped. My buddy Shawn, who absolutely loathes the city, said he had a great time and would definitely do it again. I don't loathe the city, but I will definitely be doing it again. Good times in the Big Easy.

Red Dress Run....

Wow. I'm pretty sure that's the only way to describe the train wreck that is the Red Dress Run. It's an event put on by the New Orleans Hashers, a running club with a drinking problem. Or is it the other way around? Either way, it was a blast.

6,000 plus people bar hopping down Bourbon Street, all in red dresses. Male, female, older, younger....everyone. It was pretty cool to see all the dresses and how creative people were with their outfits. I loved the sparkly shoes and the miniature hats, the stripper like outfits on guys that shouldn't be wearing them, and the banana hammock.

There were Everclear soaked cherries, daiquiris galore and plenty of free beer. There was dancing, there was laughter, there was bonding, probably some stripping and a whole lot of photos taken. The best part? Last year they donated $93,000 to various charities around the city. $93,000!!!!! Based on a quick calculation, they should easily be able to donate $150K this year. This city most definitely needs the charity dollars and they go to great local causes.

I'm happy to have been a part of it, and will definitely be back for it next year. My limit on cherries however will be one and not two. I shall also stay away from the daiquiris, though the mudslide/white russian combo is a thing of beauty.

This might be....

....the absolute sweetest thing I've ever read.

I can't even stand it. I'm going out on a limb here....one I rarely go out on. I hate admitting it, but I'm truly a closeted romantic. I've been single for a loooooong time, too long. Sorry Big, you don't factor in here, and we both know why. I love you though. :)

I know what I want in life. I knew it when I was a bright eyed 19 year old applying for a front desk job at an extended stay hotel. I wanted to see the world and retire at our Aruba property. At the time I just said it, because I thought it sounded good. This lofty, ridiculously unattainable goal that I'd never achieve, but would get me this job, in this moment, because I needed one.

Until the moment I packed up my car and started the trek down here, I never actually believed I'd ever get out of Minnesota. That'd I'd settle and be married and be comfortable for comfort's sake. I want to live in New York. I want to live in Ireland. I want to see and experience everything this world has to offer in my lifetime. But I didn't ever think it would happen. I really didn't. But knowing now, that I'm able to pack up my life and just go, it truly feels like it could be a reality. It makes me believe. It's ignited a passion in me like I've never felt before.

It makes me sad. I makes me sad that I missed the birth of my newest nephew. It makes me sad that I missed the funeral of Uncle Bill, the one that always picked on me when I was a child. It makes me sad because it isolates me from the people I care about so deeply I can't stand the thought of being without them. It makes me sad because I'm alone. I know in my heart I'm not, I have so many friends and family members that would do anything for me (and I the same for them), but physically I'm alone.

Back to the closeted romantic.....I honestly think I'd die if someone wrote a column like that to me. I want the kind of relationship he speaks of. I want my best friend and partner there by my side. I want the fairy tale ending, even if it's a hair different than the "typical" fairy tale ending. And because of where I want my life to go, and the things I want to achieve, I have this undeniable feeling that I'm going to have to achieve all of it on my own. Without that one solid person in life that will always be there for me. It's because of my drive and my unwillingness to sacrifice those things I want. I've never been good at compromise, I mean sure, I will, but when it comes to my dreams, I can't see myself giving them up for anyone. Nor would I want anyone else to for me. Scratch that, of course I would, but if they did, I wouldn't respect them.

I close myself off from it because it's safer that way. If I think about it objectively, it doesn't matter. There's a line in a song, "I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all". Not me. I'd rather feel nothing at all. It's easier to not feel than it is to think about what I really want and not having it and hurting because the only person I have to blame for it is me.

It's quite the conundrum.....having the life that I crave and the passion to do it, but not being able to share it with that special someone. I know there's a balance, but I haven't found it yet, and the thought that I might not ever....well....makes me sad. It doesn't make me question the way I lead my life, because I'd rather live now. I'm not sure which is worse, regretting all the things I could have had, or all the things I didn't. I try to lead a life without regret - a good friend once said it best - don't regret anything in life, because at the time, it was exactly what you wanted. And to this point, I've gotten exactly what I've wanted at the time, and if it wasn't what I wanted, I learned from it and changed future decisions. I want that balance so badly, it just seems so far away....

So send me flowers or something. And thank you, Andrew Cohen, for letting me know that it's possible.

If anyone needs me on Saturday....

....I'll be here. I'll be the one in red. I'll probably have a cool backpack thing too.

Three Martini Lunch

Yes please! I met Hannah at the England/USA game. Last week was her birthday. A Facebook invite was sent out, and because our schedules are both crazy, I hadn't seen her since the day I met her. I immediately responded that I would be there - if the three course lunch didn't catch my eye, the $.25 martinis sure did!!

There were about 15 of us, most of them her colleagues. I was seated with a bunch of random people I didn't know and will likely never see again. There was good conversation, laughs by most (I didn't get most of their jokes - being an outsider sucks!), but overall it was a great time.

My total bill was $40, for a delightful watermelon gazpacho, a chilled shrimp salad with peppers and a coconut curry dressing, and a peach sorbet with honey cinnamon. Oh, and three cosmos. 3. Best. Deal. Ever! I highly recommend Commander's Palace. Except for one of our servers for rolling her eyes at one of my table mates. I know he was asking a lot, but don't roll your eyes on the floor. That's absurd. Especially considering the price point of your food. You're better than that.

After lunch, we sat around chatting for a bit, then one of the girls wanted to get a tattoo. So the five of us headed over to the tattoo parlor and she got her fleur de lis. I know it's super cliche, but I really am starting to want one. I have no idea where I'd put it, due to the two that are already on my ankles....my shoulder blade and lower back, well any part of my back, are out completely, I have no desire to have one on my arm, so that leaves my hip. And I'm really not digging that placement. What if I get fat again? What if for some reason I rethink my stance on children? Ok, so the second question is a stretch. So that would leave legs and feet. Maybe the top of my foot? Maybe? I think it would be cool to get one for every place I've lived...though if all goes according to plan, that would pretty much cover me...hmmm. Going to ponder this a while.

Anyway, after the tattoos, we all headed home, to nap, shower, whatever before the bigger party that evening. I opted out of the festivities on account of my early morning, but all in all it was a great day. I met a lot of people, ate some really good food, saw more of the city and laughed lots. We have plans for a girls night next week - complete with a stripper pole class!! I really am enjoying myself here. Come visit please.

Drinking team...

with a Kickball problem.

I FINALLY played in my first kickball game last week. I've missed the first three weeks due to my bum knee, but decided this was the week I was going to test it out. I decided that for this momentous occasion, I needed a costume of some sort. Something. Anything. I remember as a child I wanted to be a ballerina. Apparently someone out there had other plans for me, since I quickly exceeded the maximum height for ballet classes. Anyhow, I finally got my chance. I made a tutu to match our team colors!

The first two innings were tied, and in the bottom of the third our coach yelled my name. I was fourth up with two outs and a runner on. The only thought that went through my head was "don't fuck this up. get on base." I had goosebumps, if I wouldn't have been sweating profusely to begin with, I would have been by now. "Don't fuck this up. get on base. don't be the last out."

I sashayed out to home plate, heard some comments about the tutu (finally!!), and I waited for the pitch to come. I kicked it almost perfectly....it dropped right between the pitcher and the second baseman. I made it safely to first!!! Woo hoo!!!! Sadly, we didn't score in the inning, but I got a hit!!

I also somehow managed an assist in the field, though I'm not sure that's an actual statistic. Someone thought it would be a good idea to kick a ball right to me, really hard. I tried to make the catch, but it went right through my hands. Thankfully our centerfielder is amazing and was in the exact right spot to make the actual catch. We ended up being tied, but for us that counts as a win.

And since it counted as a win, our coach bought the drinks. When we lose, he buys the shots. I guess I joined the right team - we sure do like to drink. We're the two time defending flip cup champions. I have yet to participate, but only because the existing team is AMAZING. To get on the team, I'd have to challenge someone in a flip-off, and I really don't think I could beat them. I don't mean to sell myself short, I just know my abilities and know how amazing my team really is.

I'm sad I'm going to miss this week, but I'll be there the rest of the season - in my tutu.

Success!!

I have successfully completed my first big, complex group! Not ever, but first since I jumped back into the event planning arena. I didn't realize it until this week, how much I missed being in front of guests and making them smile. It's true in every aspect of my life - all I want to do is make people happy. I'm good at itand I enjoy it immensely. There is no greater satisfaction to me in life, than to know that I had a hand in making someone's day.

This group was awesome. It's a foundation run by a Major League All Star. It's a foundation that provides scholarships to exceptional students. To qualify, they have to be a high school student with a 3.5 GPA or better and do some type of extra-curricular activity, be it a sport or a club. They also must do a certain amount of community service. The group is based out of two cities, and this is the first time they've traveled out of their respective communities to do service projects. They picked New Orleans because of all that's happened here - built a baseball field, created a playground, made furniture and trash can holders for the Boys and Girls clubs, etc. All in all, a spectacular group of kids.

The planners are amazing as well. I truly hope they come back to NOLA - for fun or with this group again. I now have even more people to visit when I go to my favorite city on the planet. It's amazing to me to see the smile in my client's face when I say "Yes, we can do that" to even the most impossible task. There's truly nothing like it. I can't take all the credit though. Despite some initial skepticism, the team that I work with and for is incredible. Without each and every one of them, I wouldn't be able to confidently say, "Yes, we can do that" to those impossible tasks. I don't and will never take each of these people for granted. I work for an amazing company that only employs the finest. I'm grateful for that beyond words.

I may have my moments of "what was I thinking?!", but I really do love what I do, and where I'm doing it. I don't plan to be here forever, but I am going to enjoy every moment of it, even the crappy ones. That which doesn't kill us only makes us stronger, right?

I know you’re all dying to know…

What happened to the knee. Let’s start with a PSA: Tequila is fine. Mechanical Bulls are fine. Tequila + Mechanical Bull + Old Skiing Injury = Recipe for Disaster.

I learned at the ripe age of 18 that trying to impress people was silly. Well, let’s modify that. It’s not silly. It’s silly to try and impress someone when you know nothing about them. I speak from experience here. I was skiing after class one afternoon, and noticed a rather cute boy on the slopes with me. After several times down the hill, we ended up on the chair lift together. Conversation was had, badgering me to go of the jumps took place and eventually, wanting to impress cute boy, I acquiesced. The first two times down the hill went rather breezily. The third times the charm, right? Only the wrong charm. Fast forward to me falling rather ungracefully, and ending up in the hospital with him.

Only to find out he had a girlfriend.

Fast forward to the present, and we’re sitting here, knee ace-wrapped and covered in ice. I’ve been popping Advil like it’s going out of style. I’ve been through this before, many times, either due to my wicked dance moves or Whiskey Tree with ‘The Fetus’ (NOT my name for him). And usually all is well in a couple of days.

I’ve been on a mechanical bull once or twice in my life, so when it was suggested, I was up for it. I mainly wanted to see my friend on it, and the only way she was going was if I went first. Apparently it didn’t matter that she’d already done it earlier in the week. So, after barhopping around Royal Street and dinner at Felipe’s, we met up with some friends at the Cat’s Meow. We’re all having one of the best nights of our life and finally decide to have our way with the bull. After a pit stop at a tequila bar, we sauntered into our destination. I wasn’t intimidated in the slightest.

We got signed up, grabbed a drink and got in line. I was trying not to watch the other girls on the bull, mainly because I didn’t want any of them to intimidate me. I think I’m pretty kick ass, but I know there are MUCH hotter chicks on the planet and since I’m not one of them, they intimidate me. Anyhow, we’re chatting, laughing, trying to figure out where to go after this, because really, how can you top a mechanical bull on Bourbon Street?!

(Un)lucky for us, we didn’t have to figure that out. I was on the bull so long, I eventually got bored with it. So I asked the guy to flip me off. The whole time, telling myself to fall off to the left. To the LEFT!! Why would that happen? That would be too easy! Well, I went off to the right, and the moonwalk-ness of the padding didn’t make for a solid landing. And my knee buckled. I had to haul myself off the mat with a basically useless right leg and somehow stand up without anyone being the wiser. I don’t think anyone was, which gives me some satisfaction (ah, the retention of even a little bit of dignity makes all the difference).

My gimpiness pretty much sealed the fate of the evening unfortunately. We were having such a good time! I stayed off it as much as I could over the weekend, thinking that it would be better in the morning, just like it always has been. Monday morning rolled around, and it felt almost worse. Off to the urgent care facility for me. Nothing is broken, thankfully, but there is something floating around in there, and some sort of arthritis is developing. Christ, I’m 29, not 79! How the eff can I have ‘some sort of arthritis’?! Anyhow, an appointment has been made with an orthopedist, and an MRI will hopefully be taken. I’ve known for a long time that surgery was in my future….I was just hoping it would be after the age of 30 and not before.

Send good thoughts to my knee. And for the love of god, don’t mix bad knees, tequila and mechanical bulls. All are fine separately, but the three together are just asking for trouble.