Reflecting.....

Here I sit, three weeks before I fly home to celebrate(??) my entrance to my 30's. I've been thinking a lot, about where my life has taken me, about my current situation, and about what the future might hold for me. I should be excited about all the opportunities life has sent my way, and I should be thrilled to celebrate all these things with my family and closest friends. And instead? I'm just kind of indifferent. Maybe that's too harsh of a word. Ambivalent? I don't know. I'm at a point that I just don't know.

I think about my sister, getting married to her best friend. I think about my brother, with his two beautiful children and gorgeous fiancée. I think about my other brother, doing exactly what he's wanted to do his entire life, and with his beautiful girlfriend. And then I think about me. Married to my job. Single. Childless. Me. Sitting here, in a city with no family, no one that I trust implicitly, and at a job that I adore, working for someone I pretend doesn't exist. Seems empty, just like it always has.

Before you feel bad for me, don't. I'm going to Mexico in a month and a half, an opportunity only afforded to me because I don't have all these...attachments....I pay rent, but my landlord doesn't mind if my rent is a day or three late. I don't have kids I have to arrange for. I have a job that allows me to take the time off when I want to, because they know I NEED to. I've been afforded a ton of AMAZING opportunities in life that I wouldn't trade in for anything. But the thought of turning thirty and not being exactly where I want to be, not completely, well, it makes me think.

My 5 year plan five years ago, was to be turning 30 and living in the Big Apple. Instead of the Big Apple, I'm living in the Big Easy. I didn't have grand plans to be a department head or director at the age of 30, but I wanted to be making more money than I am now. I have an opportunity to accomplish that, but I'm not sure exactly how I feel about it. More to come on that in the coming weeks. I didn't plan to be married, or settled down, or anything domestic, but I didn't plan to be single. I know that for that to happen, I have to adjust the way that I live my life, and I'm just not quite ready to do that. If I was, I'd be a department head at work. I absolutely adore my life the way it is - I do what I want to do, when I want to do it, and I can't fathom life without that freedom.

I certainly didn't plan to be living where I am, but I'm doing what I can to make the most of it. I enjoy my kickball teams, and the people that play/watch/drink with us. I've found some really great restaurants and some killer bars, though I'm still trying to find egg rolls as good as Que Viet, and Thai food as good as Tum Rup. There's a pretty amazing music scene here and my friends come to visit me in droves. I like it here. The humidity can suck it, but overall I'm content with the decision to move here.

Given the amount of fun that I'm having, and the things that I'm learning about myself both personally and professionally, and what I want to accomplish here, it's baffling me the thoughts that I'm having of moving back home. I know how much I hate winter, but do I hate winter as much as I love and miss my family slash friends? There's a job open that would challenge me on several levels, but there are many reasons I wouldn't want it. Maybe in another 5 years, when they figure out what to do about winter, I'll move home.

So, for now, I will continue to balance the social with the professional, and try to not dwell on the feeling of emptiness that I have, because I know that I'm the only person that can change it, and for right now, I'm not willing to do that. When I am, I'll know. I think. Or maybe I won't, and it'll just hit me in the face and I'll just have to accept it. I've lived a life of no regrets and I'm not about to start now. And who knows? Maybe this will become my home. A place I never expected, never planned for....just was. Wouldn't that be something?

Thanksgiving

I meant to to this yesterday, but slept all day instead. It was the most relaxing, stressless Thanksgiving I've ever had. For all the whining I did about being an orphan, it was kind of nice actually. In between naps, I really had an opportunity to reflect on the last year, the last six months, and figure out what exactly it is I'm thankful for.

I must say, that after coming home from my best friends birthday party, and being around all the people I love so much, the week and a half leading up to yesterday was a bit of a challenge for me. For all the years I whined about going to St. Cloud, or St. Paul or wherever, the thought of not being around my family was a rather large pill to swallow. Coupling that with the notion that I'm officially less than 6 months away from being 30....well, it felt a lot like a midlife crisis to me. Thankfully, there isn't a new corvette in my driveway.

So, on to the things I'm grateful for. I'm thankful I live in a city where there isn't snow on the ground. Matter of fact, it's raining right now. I could be complaining about how cold 60 degrees is, but it could be worse. At least I have warm clothes and a roof over my head. So, I'm thankful for that; having a job that I adore (even if I don't always adore the people I work with), that provides a comfortable place to put my head and food in my belly.

I'm thankful for my wonderful family, even though I take y'all for granted sometimes. You mean the absolute world to me and I'm so lucky to have some of the best family a girl could ask for. I love that you constantly surprise me, I love the way you make me laugh, the way you make me cry (yes, sister, you and your wedding dress are going to make me cry), the way I can come to you with a question or a problem and you'll give me exactly the answer I need, not the one that I want. I appreciate you more than words can describe. I love you.

My friends. Some of you belong in the previous paragraph, (you know who you are). I have the most amazing friends ever. Some of you I've known forever, some only a short time, but the amount of fun I have with y'all is really pretty incredible. We've done some stupid things, some crazy things, some wildly awesome things, and at the end of the day, it really doesn't matter what it is we've done, because we've done it together. I love you more than life itself, because you make life worth living.

One last group of people, then a giant list of stuff I'm thankful for. It may sound odd, but I'm grateful for all the people in life that have wronged me, lied to me, cheated on me, made me question my faith in people. These are the people that teach me how to be a better person, to not take people for granted, to return a phone call even if you don't want to, to ask for what it is you want and tell what it is you don't. I've learned so much from these people about what I want and don't want in life, and while it's caused a fair amount of pain to me, I'm grateful for it. I can't thank you enough for showing me how not to live life.

And my list of stuff I'm thankful for: this pretty MacBook that I'm typing this on, iPhone, my fancy schmancy shoes, watermelon in November, red velvet cake, RSVP pens, satin sheets, the smell of bacon (and taste, really), a general lack of artistic talent, short skirts and high heels, the color purple (not the movie, the actual color), the five senses, Surly Beer, compliments, the egg rolls at Que Viet, naps, the inventor of the vibrator, kickball, gyros, humor, the Dewey Decimal system, loud music, Anchorman, tomfoolery and shenanigans, quality literature, football (even if my home team sucks), photographic evidence, passports and impulsive behavior, champagne cocktails, Jeopardy, Special K, mini-golf and go-karts, In 'n Out Burger, Random Bar Night, kittens, fantasy football, online shopping, The Simpsons, po' boys.

Wowza!

Ok. So I finally have a minute to breathe. Or two even. I've been literally going non-stop since my parents arrived here three weeks ago. It was absolutely wonderful having them in town, and it was super sad to leave them for the left coast.

I had a great trip to California - haven't been to LA in at least 10 years - learned a lot at our class, saw a TON of beautiful scenery, saw some good friends I haven't seen in ages, ate really well and only embarrassed myself once (all blame goes to Rob and tequila). I'd forgotten how gorgeous the mountains and the ocean are in Cali. Our training class was at the Newport Beach Marriott, and when it was over, I took the Pacific Coast Highway all the way up to LA from Laguna Beach. I've long said that my next move will be to the Big Apple, but I might have to detour to live in the mountains.

I ate my weight in In 'N Out burgers, had an amazing meal at Rivera (I highly recommend olive oil poached lobster served with melon cubes and a green chile gelee), saw the Hollywood sign, the building where Michael Jackson is buried, took a lovely drive down and up Mullholland, drove past the Chateau Marmont, and finally up the PCH to Malibu. Dear god there are some AMAZING homes with stunning views in southern California. I want an address on Mullholland Drive. There were a couple times I literally had my breath taken away. Thankfully I didn't drive myself off a cliff.

I would love to say that when I got back from my vacation that I was refreshed and ready to get back to work. In fact, the opposite happened. I walked back into three large groups checking in on successive days, a client meeting with my first social function in years (read = lots of work), and an ambush of sorts. I'm really hoping it gets better, and it's seemed to in the last week or so, because really, it needs to. I also need to take a crash course in letting the things I have no control over go and not worry about them.

Our fall kickball league has started and we're now 2-1. Go Team America!! Voodoo Fest is every bit as amazing as I've heard. Darkness Day was an absolute blast (more on that separately). I miss my friends in MN and my family terribly. And that's pretty much it. Same old, different day. At least it's cooled off in the big sleazy.

This is what happens....

When I forget to post already written blog entries....from 10/4.......

In true impulsive form, I will be back in the TC for less than 48 hours for one of the best beer events of the year. After having my Facebook and Twitter feeds jammed with Autumn Brew Review and Surlyfest updates, I said no more. I'm not missing another one. So sayeth the brewer.

See you drinkin'.

I'm back in the Big Easy now....if you didn't see me, your loss. You'll just have to make more of an effort when I'm back next time. 11/14 at Stub and Herbs, I think.

Well....

I was contemplating writing a really morose post about the hell that has been my life the last two days. Instead I shall leave you with a cymbal playing monkey.

A moment of calm

And I want more. It's been a crazy week of work and play and it's done. Well, almost....

Half of my parents arrived on Tuesday. Wow. It's hard to believe it's been two months since I've seen them. I met them at their hotel and many hugs were had, their travel plans were discussed and dinner locales were tossed about. We ended up at Port of Call, one of the better burger joints in the city. I have a wildly different palate than my mom and step-dad, so a burger place seemed like it would be pleasing to all. And it was. Wow. Seriously good burgers there.

After dinner we walked around the Quarter for a bit and then up Frenchman street and back to the car. We drove up Esplanade and then over to Uptown, showing them the St. Charles streetcar line and where I'm thinking about moving to (when my lease is up, of course). I dropped them off after our drive and went home.

Wednesday I picked them up and we made our way to Cafe du Monde. I've had a fair share of beignets here, and I've been by The Cafe, but never bothered to stop in. Too touristy, too crowded, too much to look at elsewhere in the quarter. It was magnificent. Really truly amazing pastries. The coffee was meh, but most coffee is.

We drove around the places we went Tuesday night, to see them in daylight. I gave them the grand tour of my abode and then I went into work. Oh, how I wish I wouldn't have. I won't discuss it here, but suffice to say that one of the biggest challenges I've had since I moved hasn't been the adjustment to a new city or the lack of friends or even the job itself. If you've spoken with me in any capacity in the last 5 months (has it really been that long?!?!), you know. Basically, I like throwing stones at hornet's nests. But you knew that about me.

After work, we grabbed a bottle of wine and hit up a local pizza joint to watch the Twins game. All was going well until the end of the game of course. Thursday brought a day of pampering....from manicures to ice cream to prosciutto and pedicures, to more wine and pool time, it should have been a lovely day that was completely marred by things going on at the office. I felt absolutely awful about my mood and have sworn to myself that it won't happen again. My parents came from 1300 miles away, and they deserve me at my best, not the crabbiness that infested me yesterday.

And so here we are today, with only two full days left. I was supposed to join them on a river cruise this afternoon, and life had other plans. So, tonight we'll do dinner and tomorrow brings a swamp tour. And me in a better mood. It makes me sad that 60 hours from now I'll be on a plane to LA and they'll still be here. Yes, I'm sacrificing time with my family because of my job. It'll never happen again, because at the end of the day, family will always be there, jobs will come and go.

Not to brag or anything.....

But it's pretty effing sweet to have a beer named after you (it's the first limited release one). They made it for me for my going away party and apparently brought it to a beer festival in Madison, WI. You may have heard of it. Hope you enjoyed it. :)

Red Dress Run....

Wow. I'm pretty sure that's the only way to describe the train wreck that is the Red Dress Run. It's an event put on by the New Orleans Hashers, a running club with a drinking problem. Or is it the other way around? Either way, it was a blast.

6,000 plus people bar hopping down Bourbon Street, all in red dresses. Male, female, older, younger....everyone. It was pretty cool to see all the dresses and how creative people were with their outfits. I loved the sparkly shoes and the miniature hats, the stripper like outfits on guys that shouldn't be wearing them, and the banana hammock.

There were Everclear soaked cherries, daiquiris galore and plenty of free beer. There was dancing, there was laughter, there was bonding, probably some stripping and a whole lot of photos taken. The best part? Last year they donated $93,000 to various charities around the city. $93,000!!!!! Based on a quick calculation, they should easily be able to donate $150K this year. This city most definitely needs the charity dollars and they go to great local causes.

I'm happy to have been a part of it, and will definitely be back for it next year. My limit on cherries however will be one and not two. I shall also stay away from the daiquiris, though the mudslide/white russian combo is a thing of beauty.