What happened to the knee. Let’s start with a PSA: Tequila is fine. Mechanical Bulls are fine. Tequila + Mechanical Bull + Old Skiing Injury = Recipe for Disaster.
I learned at the ripe age of 18 that trying to impress people was silly. Well, let’s modify that. It’s not silly. It’s silly to try and impress someone when you know nothing about them. I speak from experience here. I was skiing after class one afternoon, and noticed a rather cute boy on the slopes with me. After several times down the hill, we ended up on the chair lift together. Conversation was had, badgering me to go of the jumps took place and eventually, wanting to impress cute boy, I acquiesced. The first two times down the hill went rather breezily. The third times the charm, right? Only the wrong charm. Fast forward to me falling rather ungracefully, and ending up in the hospital with him.
Only to find out he had a girlfriend.
Fast forward to the present, and we’re sitting here, knee ace-wrapped and covered in ice. I’ve been popping Advil like it’s going out of style. I’ve been through this before, many times, either due to my wicked dance moves or Whiskey Tree with ‘The Fetus’ (NOT my name for him). And usually all is well in a couple of days.
I’ve been on a mechanical bull once or twice in my life, so when it was suggested, I was up for it. I mainly wanted to see my friend on it, and the only way she was going was if I went first. Apparently it didn’t matter that she’d already done it earlier in the week. So, after barhopping around Royal Street and dinner at Felipe’s, we met up with some friends at the Cat’s Meow. We’re all having one of the best nights of our life and finally decide to have our way with the bull. After a pit stop at a tequila bar, we sauntered into our destination. I wasn’t intimidated in the slightest.
We got signed up, grabbed a drink and got in line. I was trying not to watch the other girls on the bull, mainly because I didn’t want any of them to intimidate me. I think I’m pretty kick ass, but I know there are MUCH hotter chicks on the planet and since I’m not one of them, they intimidate me. Anyhow, we’re chatting, laughing, trying to figure out where to go after this, because really, how can you top a mechanical bull on Bourbon Street?!
(Un)lucky for us, we didn’t have to figure that out. I was on the bull so long, I eventually got bored with it. So I asked the guy to flip me off. The whole time, telling myself to fall off to the left. To the LEFT!! Why would that happen? That would be too easy! Well, I went off to the right, and the moonwalk-ness of the padding didn’t make for a solid landing. And my knee buckled. I had to haul myself off the mat with a basically useless right leg and somehow stand up without anyone being the wiser. I don’t think anyone was, which gives me some satisfaction (ah, the retention of even a little bit of dignity makes all the difference).
My gimpiness pretty much sealed the fate of the evening unfortunately. We were having such a good time! I stayed off it as much as I could over the weekend, thinking that it would be better in the morning, just like it always has been. Monday morning rolled around, and it felt almost worse. Off to the urgent care facility for me. Nothing is broken, thankfully, but there is something floating around in there, and some sort of arthritis is developing. Christ, I’m 29, not 79! How the eff can I have ‘some sort of arthritis’?! Anyhow, an appointment has been made with an orthopedist, and an MRI will hopefully be taken. I’ve known for a long time that surgery was in my future….I was just hoping it would be after the age of 30 and not before.
Send good thoughts to my knee. And for the love of god, don’t mix bad knees, tequila and mechanical bulls. All are fine separately, but the three together are just asking for trouble.
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