Just so you know....

I have been writing. And keeping up with my promise of updates once a week. It's just that the last couple of them? Well, they haven't been so good. I don't want to scare you off, so I'm keeping them to myself for a bit. Tweaking them every couple of days and letting myself heal and eventually they'll be up. I'm trying to heal myself emotionally and I think I'm close. Now if I could just kick this nasty cold and then I'll be healed emotionally and physically. Well, as close as I can be.

Sometimes the wheels have to come off so you can be put back together whole again. Maybe not even completely off, maybe it's just simply a day/night of letting completely go. And going completely balls to the wall. And ass shaking. Always with the ass shaking. Sometimes it's a rejection that makes you wonder what the hell you were doing in the first place. But it's always something little that makes that lightbulb go off above your head and think, "A ha! That's it! The eff was I thinking?!?". And then it's back to being good.

For all the morose words I've put into this computer the last couple of weeks, I really am feeling better. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel both personally and professionally, and for the first time all year, I KNOW it's not a train. It's a hopeful light. One that's making me smile, right here, right now. An unforced, completely real smile. I've missed that. It's nice to have it back.

Only two weeks remain between today and Mardi Gras. Less than that until my best friend in the entire world comes to visit me. Words can't even begin to describe how excited I am, and I wouldn't want to try because I don't feel they'd do my thoughts justice. It's going to be one hell of a week and I can't hardly wait. Because I'll finally have reached the end of the tunnel, and then my whole world opens up again. And it's going to be amazing.

Reasons I love gay bars.

Oh, let me count the ways.

First, I'm not the hottest chick on the planet, but even fugly chicks get their asses grabbed in nightclubs. I'm a fan of gay bars, because if it for some reason does happen, I'm fairly certain it doesn't really mean anything. Whereas, if I'm in a straight nightclub, they're usually trying to get in my pants. I can't even begin to tell you how many times I'll be standing at the bar of whatever hip nightclub just opened and some dude comes up to me and grabs my ass. It's so flipping annoying and the quickest way to have me put you on my own personal do not call list. This is why I generally don't go to nightclubs in the first place.

Second, I rarely have to worry about getting roofied. Or, flooried as it were. Either way, I'm pretty sure no one in a gay bar is going to mistake me for a drag queen, and therefore, they're not going to try to sleep with me. As such, putting a roofie in my drink is completely wasting it, and usually guys put them in the drinks of people they want to get in bed with, AKA, not mine. At least that's been my experience with it. Different story for a different day though.

Third, rarely has a night a gay bar ever cost me more than $30. I like cheap drinking nights. There is little in life more irritating to me than finding a receipt for a $100 night. Or worse, the bartender calling me the next day and letting me know I walked out on said $100 bar tab. Yes, it's happened.

3a. The first reason these tend to be cheap drinking nights is because the drinks are stupid strong. Like a glass of vodka and a splash of cranberry strong. Which translates into only needing a couple of them to get the job done, therefore resulting in a cheap bar tab.

3b. The second reason is because it's rare that I'm buying my own drinks in said bar, but when I do, see 3a.. I usually roll in with friends, and they usually pay for everything. And sometimes when we go, it's two-for-ones, or even three-for-ones (see 3a). Other times we go, friends introduce me to their friends and they pay for everything. On a rare occasion, I'll meet the one straight guy in the place, and those are the best. They're so excited to see a semi-hot chick in the place I've got drinks coming my way all night long. This scenario however heightens my awareness of the whole roofie situation, though not a lot. Straight guys in gay bars rarely travel with roofies.

The fourth reason I totally dig on gay bars is because there are those nights I'm in the mood to just shake my ass. And when I'm in that mood, I don't need some sweaty ass dude with frosted tips and a popped collar fist-pumping his way all up in my space. Especially if he reeks like Drakkar Noir (side story - but DN stopped smelling good in high school, guys). I dance better alone, and sometimes I just like to stare at super hot guys that are ripped dancing without their shirts on to the same Madonna remix that I love. Or J-Lo. Or whatever super awesome music they're playing. Because music in gay bars NEVER sucks.

For the better part of the last week, I've been wracking my brain trying to come up with a fifth reason to like gay bars. And really? I can't. If the first four didn't sell you on it, then I'm done. I give up. If those four aren't good enough, than you probably should stay away from them. Hopefully it'll free up a barstool for me to plant myself on. Speaking of, if you can recommend any good ones in NOLA, I'm willing to listen to recommendations.