My first Mardi Gras....

Well, it's started. I attended my first official Mardi Gras parade on Saturday. I would have been at the first one of the season the previous Saturday, but parking is a bitch in the quarter. The parade itself was somewhat meh. Don't get me wrong, it was better than 95% of the parades I've seen in my life, but for this extravagant event, it seemed kind of, almost, half assed. I've been assured by my local friends that it was one of the smaller ones, and they only get better. Here's hoping.

The one I think I'm most looking forward to is the Krewe of Muses on Thursday night. It's the only all female Mardi Gras parade, and their throws include intricately decorated shoes. I'm keeping my fingers crossed I'll catch one, preferably with my hands, and not my face.

My friends start to arrive on Saturday (send good thoughts to my bestie, apparently she was in the hospital last night, trooper that she is), and the craziness will be in full swing. I'm excited about the parade that goes through my neighborhood; I hear it's pretty incredible. I'm hoping my liver and almost 30 year old body hold out...I've been noticing signs of "lack of party ability" lately, and trying to live by the "you're only as old as you feel" mantra. Short skirts and tight tops are helping, but we'll see what shakes out this weekend.

I'm not sure if I'm more excited about Mardi Gras, or if I'm more excited to show my best friend all the things I love about this city. I can't wait to take her to Parkway, and Sucre, and walk around City Park, and show her where we play kickball, and get a photo op in the Sinkhole...but I can't help but feel like there's something overshadowing it and I won't be able to share everything I want to. And I worry about the next time she'll come back. It's an awesome city, so I hope that she does, and not for something like this, or Jazzfest, just some random Wednesday perhaps, and we can play trivia at Half Moon, or I can give her the experience of a Random Bar Night. It'll be fun for sure....just different I suppose.

Just so you know....

I have been writing. And keeping up with my promise of updates once a week. It's just that the last couple of them? Well, they haven't been so good. I don't want to scare you off, so I'm keeping them to myself for a bit. Tweaking them every couple of days and letting myself heal and eventually they'll be up. I'm trying to heal myself emotionally and I think I'm close. Now if I could just kick this nasty cold and then I'll be healed emotionally and physically. Well, as close as I can be.

Sometimes the wheels have to come off so you can be put back together whole again. Maybe not even completely off, maybe it's just simply a day/night of letting completely go. And going completely balls to the wall. And ass shaking. Always with the ass shaking. Sometimes it's a rejection that makes you wonder what the hell you were doing in the first place. But it's always something little that makes that lightbulb go off above your head and think, "A ha! That's it! The eff was I thinking?!?". And then it's back to being good.

For all the morose words I've put into this computer the last couple of weeks, I really am feeling better. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel both personally and professionally, and for the first time all year, I KNOW it's not a train. It's a hopeful light. One that's making me smile, right here, right now. An unforced, completely real smile. I've missed that. It's nice to have it back.

Only two weeks remain between today and Mardi Gras. Less than that until my best friend in the entire world comes to visit me. Words can't even begin to describe how excited I am, and I wouldn't want to try because I don't feel they'd do my thoughts justice. It's going to be one hell of a week and I can't hardly wait. Because I'll finally have reached the end of the tunnel, and then my whole world opens up again. And it's going to be amazing.